Day 11

The Preaching Life

One of the most effective ways I know to keep my soul and role intact, is to speak honestly about the struggle and temptations that lead to their separation. Indeed, "confession is good for the soul."

As public as it is, the pulpit can feel like the lonliest place in the church.As strange as it may sound, I have been most tempted in pastoral ministry to "disappear into my role" as "the preacher." It is incredibly seductive to be the kind of preacher that people want, to tell them what they want to hear, and to do it in a way that is 'easy on the ear.'

Compliments and affirmations at the back of the church on Sunday morning can become addictive, and unfortunately, there are no recovery groups for pastors who've become "approval addicts."

Mind you, the congregation can't be blamed for the addiction. They may enable it, but it is the preacher who must choose whether or not to swallow the sweet phrases.

I'm aware how ungrateful this may sound. I am incredibly grateful, and I believe the intent is to convey loving appreciation. The danger for the preacher is the delivery. Fed a diet of "you are the best preacher," "that was a great sermon," "you are so funny..." the preacher may begin to beleive those are the truest words ever spoken. An insatiable craving is likely to develop, and soon the soul gives way to the role most likely to feed the preacher's cravings.

I am not naive or vain enough to believe that preachers are the only people at risk. In fact, I've caught myself saying:

• "You're a great father."
• "That was the best anthem!"
• "You're the most compassionate person I've ever met..."

On the rare occasion that I can think before I speak, or even those times when I've heard the words I didn't intend, I try to say what I really mean:

• "When I watch you with your children, I remember how my Dad could make me feel so safe."
• "While I listened to you sing, I suddenly experienced the presence of God."
• "When I see how you give yourself to others, I can see parts of myself I'd like to change."

Don't worry, if you tell me I'm "a good preacher," I won't hold it against you, but I'll try not to hold on to the words too long either. And if I hear it too much, there are several people within and beyond the congregation, I count on to hold me accountable and give me a space to remember who I am.

I pray that as I preach, I will let my soul be fully present in the role. Should our souls meet in that space between the words, I hope and trust the Spirit will honor our meeting.