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I can see clearly now
I agree with Parker that when it comes to death, "we may become driven by fear, obsessed with protecting and preserving what we have, which is a sure way of losing it." I realize it may sound like he's suggesting that living with the hope of life on the horizon is a way of ignoring or denying the reality of death. However, having read more of Parker's writings, I think he would suggest that we should live fully aware that death lies between us and the horizon that holds the hope of life. As we look toward that horizon of life, we should not deny seeing death, neither should we focus our eyes on it as if it were the horizon.
I believe it is equally dangerous to try to see the horizon without seeing death, as if we could hold up our hand to block death from our sight. Instead, I believe living with death clearly in sight can free us from the illusion that we have all the time in the world: to do something meaningful, to do what we're supposed to do or to do something besides entertain ourselves.
There are many stories in many faith traditions about holy men and women who spoke in loving and familiar terms about death. I recall one such story that I think was about St. Francis who lived with the awareness that 'Sister Death' was always walking at his left side.
Though some think it morbid or depressing to keep death daily in our sights, when I am able to do so, I find I am more aware and grateful for this moment, the people and creatures around me and the very gift of life.
To be sure, we will all come face to face with death, why not befriend it now, that you may not live in fear of it. Death is not the worst thing that can happen to us; far worse, is to let our fear of death keep us from living a full life today. It is one of the saddest tragedies to hear someone at the end of life declare their regrets about not having lived the life they wanted to live.
May death be fully in view today, as you look toward God's horizon of eternal life, and may it free you to live the abundant life God desires for you.
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I have looked clearly at death since I was twelve and suddenly realized, at the funeral of my grandfather, that some day my parents would die.
ReplyDeleteNow, I am aware of it on the horizon every day, and it is NOT dark, since I see it as the door to the most incredible, exciting adventure - for everyone! (Not the old picture of lolling around in the grass with no worries, but continuing to work and learn and teach and serve and grow spiritually.) I look forward to it, but I know that I should work harder to be of service and grow spiritually while I am still here. Sometimes I am concerned about the suffering that can precede death, but I have confidence that I will be given what I need for that too. I just feel very sad that so many people are frightened of death and I don't know how to tell them.
Carolyn I can so relate to your childhood experience of having a grandparent die and suddenly realizing that your parents are going to die someday. I had the exact experience at age 4. It's funny - I didn't think about the fact that I would die - maybe because a young child is so much an extension of her parents that having them die was the same thing. The first time I ever experienced being afraid of death for myself was after I had children and I was on my way to pick up our first adopted child in Vietnam - I suddenly was gripped by the fear that if the plane crashed, my two young children would have to grow up without me. (I know, I know - they would have been fine.....but how could it not be traumatizing for a child?) Now, I'm on the downhill side of life that's bound by time and, like you, looking forward to the the horizon, but definitely afraid of what the process of dying might involve. It seems in reading the Gospels that Jesus' ministry became more and more intentional the closer he got to death - culminating with the Last Supper we celebrated last night on Maundy Thursday. He talked about the wonder of the Kingdom that is both here and on the horizon. Yet, at the moment of death - which we remember today - he was forsaken, suffering and abandoned. Putting aside the theology of atonement, his human experience of death was horrific and terrifying. So, I wonder if there is a place for being afraid of the process of dying without living as if we deny its reality and without letting the fear drive our lives. Not easy, to be sure. I realize not everyone's experience is/will be as painful as his, but some people's experience is/will be even worse - no matter what faith they hold onto about what's on the horizon. We've all seen both. So, here's a question to ponder - was death built into God's good creation, or was it a consequence of our separation from God? Paul calls death the 'final enemy'. The creation story in Genesis says - Get them out of the garden before they eat of the tree of of life and live forever. I wonder....
ReplyDeleteHaving observed both my father and father-in-law deliberately approach death when their bodies were worn out- one from cancer and one from a brain wasting disease...I believe that God is with us especially in those times, easing that transition. My father was planning his service with his pastor the day before he died. My father-in-law, who had lived a life being somewhat nervous, said that he wanted a death like my father's death. He died 6 months later having deliberately chosen to stop eating and drinking (he was the one with the brain wasting disease) - The most terrifying part of Jesus crucifixion has always been his moment of feeling abandoned by God. I believe he was not abandoned by God and that we will be in God's close care and company in that time.
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