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Well...I think I'm good at...hmmm...well...
Naming our 'native gifts' out loud is risky as well. Doing so, we risk being humiliated by those who would openly disagree with us; others who might disagree less openly, but privately ridicule us to others; and still others who might dismiss us for as arrogant or at least lacking appropriate humility. Here again, the gift of solitude lets us see our gifts despite all voices to the contrary.
Even as I name those voices, I struggle to ignore them: "Should I take the risk to name my gifts?" "Are those really my gifts or am I just kidding myself?" "It really does sound self-promoting to say that, doesn't it?"
Perhaps even this is one of my gifts: naming my fears publicly, then stepping out into them anyway.
Those niggling voices whisper that humor is just one of the many tools I've developed to cope with life - a result of pathology rather than a gift. Shushing them with a glare, I still claim it as a gift, hoping it's true that laughter and silence are two of God's favorite sounds.
What gifts has God given you? Go ahead. Ignore those voices. Say it out loud.
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Yes, it is hard and scary to name my gifts. Much easier to count the other stuff I'm no good at. But I think every attribute is a continuum with a negative and positive extreme. What comes to me first is stillness, which to me encompasses to some degree patience, contemplation, listening, being non-judgemental, forgiveness, to look at paradox. OK, I guess so.
ReplyDeleteMy mother used to tell me that I have always been an 'old soul', which, I think, is someone who tries to access the wisdom of the ages. (...'tries' being the operative word here..) I guess since that's her description of me and she's known me longer than anyone else on the planet, that must be a gift I was born with. Mastering it, as Palmer talks about, is another thing. But naming it feels right to me.
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